After joyfully sharing our love of our favourite Pokemon me and Half Shelled Hero (of HalfShelledHeroGaming.com) are now turning our attentions to our least favourite Pokemon. So without further a do enjoy our rants and general hatred towards some of the worst Pokemon going.
HSHG: I am usually a gentleman but since BEAR wanted to be such a jerk about his Pokemon in our last article, I will be going first this time. So sit back and watch me unleash one worthless piece of Pokemon!
BEAR: No I think I’ll go first…
HSHG: Hey, No I…
BEAR: I present to the world…..
Really what were they thinking when they created Jynx? It looks like a young boys terrible drawing of the “ideal woman”. According to the pokedex it seductively wiggles its hips as it walks… Hero pass me the sick bag, (HSHG: Use your hands you jerk). How is Jynx even remotely seductive? There is nothing I enjoy more than seeing a fire Pokemon unleashes firey death upon this ice monstrosity, melting it into a pool of water (yes I’m fully aware this doesn’t actually happen but one can dream dammit).
HSHG: You are lucky Jynx was on my list too. I agree with you on many things here, this was a TERRIBLE idea and is easily one of my MOST hated Pokemon. But I honestly think Jynx would be a good “partner” for you ;D
BEAR: Nah mate, she’s all yours! My NEXT vomit educing Pokemon is…
Poor little Bellsprout if only it knew… if only it knew its final evolution would turn it into some kind of deformed plant resembling the result of generations of incestuous breeding, poor old Bellsprout may have been able to do something about it. Unfortunately for little old Bellsprout his final evolution is quite frankly a disturbing one, with its “mouth head” complete with two fangs, Victrebell is just wrong. Its original pokedex entry reads “Said to live in huge colonies deep in jungles, although no one has ever returned from there.” No s**t one look at this monstrosity and you wouldn’t want to live either.
HSHG: Really? I don’t think Victreebel is that bad. I wish I could put YOU on this list xD. Well as much as I HATE Jynx there is one Pokemon in particular I may hate more…
Let me just start by quoting the Pokedex… “These key collectors threaten any attackers by fiercely jingling their keys at them”. WHO THE HELL is going to be afraid of jingling KEYS?! KEYS?!?! I just don’t understand… WHO APPROVED THIS?! This has to be one of, IF not THE worst Pokemon idea ever… Someone NEEDS to be fired.
BEAR: Speaking of someone getting fired… WHO approved…
One of those Pokemon that suffers from lazy creature design, Noespass is essentially a giant nose… attached to a body. While I don’t hate Nosepass as much as some (looking at you Victrebell) it’s just a very boring Pokemon, I mean apparently it only moves 3/8 of an inch every year… wtf? What kind of measurement is 3/8 of an inch? Was that a way of making Nosepass seem more interesting by using a strange fraction? I sort of feel some sympathy for old Nosey as his prominent nose is consistently red, so not only does Nosepass barely move it has to suffer the indignity of looking like it has a permanent cold.
HSHG: Haha, you hit it right on…the nose *smirks*. Not only is this one of the WORST Pokemon designs BUT it is pretty much useless. Once again I ask… WHO APPROVED THIS?! I am pretty sure BEAR and I could come up with 10 Pokemon 100x better than “Nosepass” or any other Pokemon on this list… wow.
I don’t “HATE” this next Pokemon BUT I do think it is another STUPID idea… I DON’T choose you…
Okay, so I technically cheated here and picked 2 Pokemon but hell they are SO stupid! I think Pokemon that are actual objects like Swords, or KEYS are the DUMBEST ideas ever. In the Pokedex it states “When Honedge evolves, it divides into two swords, which cooperate via telepathy to coordinate attacks and slash their enemies to ribbons”. No… just no… no….NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
BEAR: Looks like we have lost hero guys but let’s be honest we can all live with that right? Let’s continue the list!
What do you get when Oddish has a drug addiction… Gloom. I mean look at it, Gloom looks completely out of it and is constantly drooling. Gloom is also known as a weed Pokemon… so yeah make of that what you will. Gloom you need help. And I know you Gloom sympathisers will be saying “That isn’t drool it’s nectar” … Why the frick is it drooling nectar? Also it stinks, not my words but those of the pokedex (Pokemon Stadium) “The horrible-smelling pistil of this flower stinks over a mile away. Unwittingly inhaled, it can cause fainting” thanks for that Gloom.
While Hero is still venting frustration on his honedge voodoo doll my next least favorite Pokemon is…
Another product of lazy character design, KlingKlang is basically some gears stuck together with some eyes stuck on just to spice things up a bit. And that’s your lot. I have nothing more to say about KlingKlang and that’s why it has made this list there is literally nothing else I can say about it, it’s just some frickin’ gears.
HSHG: Oh there is more you can say about this piece of…
BEAR: And HE’S BACK!
HSHG: WHO APPROVED THIS?! WHO is in charge of Pokemon design??? I would like to meet him/her/them and give them a piece of my mind! On the other hand they will probably take it and make it into a Pokemon “Pieceabrain” … smdh.
Go ahead BEAR send out your last least favorite Pokemon… I want mine to be the finale because it really is a cluster f…
BEAR: Okay! Let’s see who we got on tap!
Alomola is a fish, a weird pink fish with a face that unnerves me. While it is actually quite a nice Pokemon; it helps and heals injured Pokemon, if I was injured I would not want this freaky, pink fish anywhere near me. It just doesn’t look right and it also has a somewhat smug appearance, like it thinks it’s better than anyone else. Won’t look so smug when I put it in a nice fish pie!
HSHG: Speaking of food… What if… Now “Bear” with me now *smirks again*, What if they had Pokemon that resembled… FOOD!!!
Ice Cream?… ICE…. Cream….. ICE CREAM?!? ICE CREAM?!?!?!? ICE CREAM?!? ICE CREAM?!?!?!? ICE CREAM?!? ICE CREAM?!?!?!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!? ICE CREAM?!? ICE CREAM?!?!?!? ICE CREAM?!? ICE CREAM?!?!?!? ICE CREAM?!? ICE CREAM?!?!?!? ICE CREAM?!? ICE CREAM?!?!?!? ICE CREAM?!? ICE CREAM?!?!?!? ICE CREAM?!? ICE CREAM?!?!?!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!? ICE CREAM?!? ICE CREAM?!?!?!? ICE CREAM?!? ICE CREAM?!?!?!? ICE CREAM?!? ICE CREAM?!?!?!?
BEAR: I think we are losing Hero again!
HSHG: You know what?… Maybe there is a pretty good explanation for this… maybe it has some special power that makes this Pokemon worth having around. Pokedex! What you got for me?
POKEDEX: “Vanillite. The temperature of their breath is -58 degrees Fahrenheit. They create snow crystals and make snow fall in the areas around them”.
BEAR: Oh Boy…
BEAR: And so we will end it there guys! Ice Cream, Keys, Noses and more. I am sure YOU ALL can agree with some, if not ALL of our picks here. What are your Least Favourite Pokemon? Let us know in the Comment Section below or on Twitter! Until next time, have fun and play games.